Intense / by Charlie Francis Cassidy

Trigger warning: Self harm and Suicide

I get very intense episodes of Mania or just intensely stuck on things like wanting to self harm or worse. So for the past 3 months my psychologist has been trying to get me to try this sensory thing.

It’s this thing where you try to overload another sense of yours so that you can’t do anything but pay attention to that sensation. One suggestion - bite into a chilli. Now that doesn’t sound pleasant and I guess it isn’t meant to be. It’s just meant to be safer and break you out of the cycle.

I usually try cold showers when I get bad, I developed that myself but finally I took this thing to a new level. I got those Fishermens Friends mints/menthols that are really strong.

I was in an intense Manic episode and my thoughts were racing and I couldn’t break it, I wanted to hurt myself. Instead I put one of those in my mouth and omg, few seconds in all I could think about was the mint then 5 more seconds and it was all I could do to keep it in. I gave up after 30 seconds, but it sure as hell broke me out of my head space.

Other suggestions are intense smells, loud music, anything that overloads one other sense and if it’s unpleasant probably all the better.